Martin v. Boxer: Round Two
After being scolded recently by Barbara Boxer for joking at last year’s FCC Chairman’s Dinner that the agency has a KGB-like atmosphere, Kevin Martin turned the tables Tuesday night at this year’s gala with some dark humor. “I do want to try to set the record straight: the FCC is not like the KGB,” he said to the bemusement of telecom attorneys, lobbyists, journalists and other muckety-mucks attending the annual fete hosted by the Federal Communications Bar Association. He then listed seven reasons why the agency is not as oppressive as Russia’s notorious intelligence service (see related item).
Employing more raw humor, Martin, a Republican, joshed that Democratic commissioner Michael Copps would draw bigger crowds “if the FCC were actually going to do anything on media ownership.” Strengthening the rules, now under review, is a top priority for Copps. Regarding network neutrality, Martin highlighted a “terrific” New York Times piece titled “Hey Baby Bells: Information Wants to Be Free.” Then came the punch line (reinforced by a slide of the Time’s website): “Ironically, if you want to read it you’ll have to pay the New York Times three ninety-five.”
Poking fun at his reputation for picking on cable, Martin pledged to demonstrate this is not the case. “I just set up a private meeting for the cable industry leaders with a very senior White House official. That’s right, the hunting trip with the vice president is all arranged.”
“Now I know there are lots of rumors about me leaving the commission,” the chairman quipped. “In November there were rumors I’d be leaving in January. In January there were rumors I’d be leaving in April. Now there are rumors I’ll be leaving in June,” he told the crowd gathered in the massive ballroom at the Washington Hilton. “I want to make sure to clarify things, so let me state clearly: all the rumors about me leaving in September should not begin until June.”
Addressing congressional staffers in attendance, Martin joshed that his comedy act is copyrighted. “If your bosses quote any of these jokes at me at a hearing, I want you to know that I have retained Viacom’s lawyers,” he mused. At the end of his shtick came this sobering line: “This was a night to have a little fun, and for me, I have to say, it’s about as enjoyable as appearing before a new Congress.” In case anyone takes offense, he provided a disclaimer, emphasizing that his comments were in jest and shouldn’t be taken out of context. -- David Hatch
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